Is it bad to wear black pearls at a funeral? A thorough explanation of the etiquette and selection you need to know
Posted by GINZAREPEARL

Black pearls are one of the most appropriate pearls to show respect for the deceased, and are suitable for wearing at funerals. Their elegant sparkle quietly conveys dignity in funerals that avoid flashy decorations.
In this article, we will explain why black pearls can be worn at funerals and what to consider when choosing them.
What you'll learn in this article
- Black pearls worn at funerals
- Funeral etiquette for different types of jewelry
- Funeral etiquette for black pearls and other pearls
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Is it okay to wear black pearls at a funeral? Why is it okay to wear them?
It is not considered bad manners to wear black pearls at a funeral. Black pearls have an elegant and subdued shine, and are considered an appropriate accessory for funerals.
Pearls are considered to be a symbol of tears and are a gemstone that expresses feelings of remembrance for the deceased and condolences to the bereaved family. For this reason, it is generally permitted to wear them at funerals.
Generally, low-luster pearls are recommended for funerals. Black pearls come in muted black and gray colors and have an elegant impression, making them suitable for funerals.
Necklaces and earrings made of black pearls are easy to match with mourning attire and are suitable for funerals. They create an elegant atmosphere, so they are recommended for people in their 40s and above rather than younger generations.
It is important not to give a flashy impression at a funeral. When choosing black pearls, avoid ones that are too large or have a lot of decoration, and choose a simple necklace or earrings.
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Which black pearls are appropriate for funerals? Etiquette for each type of jewelry explained
Here we will explain in detail the etiquette for wearing black pearls depending on the following three types of jewelry.
- necklace
- Piercings
- ring
Black pearls are considered appropriate accessories for funerals due to their calm color and elegant shine. However, care must be taken as the correct design and etiquette differ depending on the type of jewelry.
necklace
At funerals, black pearl necklaces are the most common accessory. Pearls symbolize tears and are a sign of mourning for the deceased, so simple designs are fine to wear.
The ideal size of the beads is about 7 to 8.5 mm, and the length is about 40 to 45 cm. Avoid double-strand necklaces, as they represent "multiple misfortunes."
Piercings
Black pearl earrings are considered appropriate accessories for funerals. Avoid dangling or large designs; a simple single pearl design is best.
Black pearls give an elegant impression, so if you choose small ones, they will blend in with your mourning clothes and create a calm atmosphere. The average size of the pearls is 7 to 8 mm .
For the metal parts, choose subdued colors such as silver or white gold to create a more formal impression.
ring
It is generally considered best to refrain from wearing rings at funerals. If you choose to wear a ring other than your wedding band, choose a simple and understated black pearl.
For pearl rings, a single pearl design or a row of small pearls are appropriate.
Black pearls are an appropriate accessory for funerals, but it is important to choose something that is appropriate for the occasion in which you are remembering the deceased.
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Four points to consider when choosing black pearls to wear at a funeral
Here are four points to consider when choosing black pearls to wear at a funeral:
- shape
- Size
- Presence or absence of scratches
- color
When wearing black pearls to a funeral, it is important to choose appropriate ones while observing proper etiquette.
shape
Black pearls come in a variety of shapes, including round (perfectly circular), semi-round (slightly oval), and drop (teardrop-shaped).
At funerals, the standard is a round shape that gives a formal impression. A well-balanced round shape is considered to be dignified and appropriate for a place where etiquette is valued.
Size
Black pearls tend to be larger than other pearls, but for funerals, choose a more modest size. For necklaces, 8mm to 10mm is elegant and will create a calm atmosphere while avoiding excessive flashiness.
Be careful not to make it too small as it will give a casual impression, and if it is too big it may be perceived as too flashy.
Presence or absence of scratches
Generally, the fewer scratches a pearl has, the better its quality is, but certain types of scratches can affect the pearl's durability.
Natural scratches are caused naturally by environmental factors during the cultivation process and appear as dimples on the surface.
On the other hand, processing scratches occur during artificial processing and can lead to deterioration over time, so care must be taken.
color
Black pearls come in a variety of colors, including black and gray. At funerals, it is considered good manners to wear muted black or gray colors.
Deep black is considered formal and appropriate for funerals. Avoid strong iridescent interference colors or bright silver tones, as they may appear too flashy.
The deep color of black pearls gives a simple yet sophisticated impression, creating an air of dignity appropriate for a funeral.
However, it is best to avoid peacock green, which is one of the rarest black pearls, at funerals. Because of its greenish hue and gorgeous luster, it may stand out too much in a solemn setting and be considered inappropriate.
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Funeral etiquette you should know about black pearl jewelry
Below are some funeral etiquette you should be aware of in relation to black pearl jewelry.
- Mourning clothes
- Appearance such as hairstyle and makeup
- Prayer beads (rosary)
Black pearl jewelry is suitable as an accessory for funerals, as it gives a dignified and sophisticated impression.
It is important not only to wear black pearls but also to observe proper etiquette when it comes to your overall outfit.
Mourning clothes
Dress code at a funeral is very important to show respect for the deceased. Black formal attire is appropriate for mourning, and shiny fabrics and designs with a lot of decoration should be avoided.
For women, dresses and ensemble suits are common, and the ideal length is between the knee and the calf. Sleeves should not be too short, and long or three-quarter sleeves are common.
Beige stockings are acceptable, but black is safe. Bare feet are strictly prohibited.
For shoes, simple, non-shiny black pumps are appropriate. Avoid flashy designs and choose low heels of 5cm or less.
For bags, a simple design made of black fabric or leather is ideal, and avoid ones with flashy shiny or metallic decorations.
Appearance such as hairstyle and makeup
At funerals, it is important to pay close attention to your appearance so as not to give off a flashy impression. When wearing black pearl jewelry, it is important to keep the overall outfit unified and to be conscious of a calm atmosphere.
The specific grooming etiquette is as follows:
Hairstyle |
・If you have long hair, tie it up just below your ears. - Hair accessories should be black or dark in color and have a modest design (avoid shiny or decorative items). |
Makeup |
- Natural with calm colors such as beige and brown - Use natural lipstick colors such as a subtle pink beige (avoid glossy or dark lip colors) |
Nail |
・Avoid flashy nails and remove them beforehand (as your hands will likely draw attention when offering incense or holding prayer beads) |
clock |
・The basic rule is to remove it. - If necessary, a simple design without flashy decorations - Choose calm colors such as black, silver, and gold. |
handkerchief |
・The basic rule is to choose a plain, simple handkerchief in black, white, or gray (avoid flashy designs with lace or embroidery). |
One thing that is surprisingly often overlooked is nails. Since hands tend to attract attention when offering incense or holding prayer beads, women in particular should check their nails.
As a rule, you should remove your watch. If you must, avoid watches with metal bands and opt for matte ones with less shine.
At funerals, attention should be paid not only to hairstyle and makeup, but also to accessories such as watches and handkerchiefs to create a unified look and a more sophisticated impression.
Prayer beads (rosary)
At funerals, prayer beads are an important item to show respect for the deceased. There are two types of prayer beads: the formal "honren rosary" that is tailored to one's own sect, and the "abbreviated rosary (katen rosary)" that can be used by any sect.
Generally, it is safer to bring abbreviated prayer beads. Abbreviated prayer beads have fewer beads than 108-bead full-length prayer beads, and are characterized by a simpler design.
Black, brown, or gray colors are preferable , but avoid flashy decorations. When carrying your prayer beads, put them in a special prayer beads bag to give a polite impression.
If you have a rosary, it will be useful not only for funerals, but also for memorial services, Higan, and visiting graves during Obon. As you get older, you will have more opportunities to use them, and even if you suddenly have a wake, if you have a rosary, it will not be considered rude to wear casual clothes.
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Can black pearls be worn for occasions other than funerals? Explanation by occasion
Black pearls can be worn for occasions other than funerals. The following are some of the occasions where they can be worn:
- Memorial service
- wedding
- Entrance and Graduation Ceremonies
Black pearls are not just funeral accessories; they can also be worn for a variety of formal and semi-formal occasions. By knowing the appropriate occasions and etiquette, you will be able to use black pearls in a wider range of situations.
We will explain whether it is appropriate to wear it at occasions other than funerals.
Memorial service
Memorial services are important occasions to remember the deceased, and so a sophisticated attire is required. For this reason, black pearl jewelry is an appropriate accessory for memorial services.
The key is to keep necklaces, earrings, rings, etc. simple and coordinate them so that they don't look too flashy. A string of black pearls gives an elegant and dignified impression, making it suitable for memorial services.
As with funerals, black or dark colored formal wear is the standard. For women, a black formal dress or ensemble suit is appropriate, and for men, a dark suit is appropriate.
Memorial services may allow for a little more flexibility in dress code than funerals, but by choosing subdued jewelry such as black pearls you can maintain dignity and still look appropriate.
wedding
Black South Sea pearls are associated with mourning, so careful consideration should be given to wearing them at weddings. Weddings are glamorous occasions, and bright-colored pearls such as white South Sea pearls and Akoya pearls are generally preferred.
However, if you choose black pearls with soft shades of gray or green, you can create a chic and sophisticated look.
When wearing black pearls at a wedding, it is important to consider the balance with the color and design of the dress and create an overall gorgeous look. For example, matching a pale-colored dress with gray-toned black pearls creates a calm and elegant look.
If you wear dark colors all over your body, it may give the impression of mourning attire, so it is important to be conscious of using brightness in parts other than your accessories.
Entrance and Graduation Ceremonies
Entrance and graduation ceremonies are important ceremonies to celebrate a child's growth, and formal attire is required. Generally, white pearls such as Akoya pearls and South Sea pearls are chosen for these ceremonies, but black South Sea pearls are also suitable for sophisticated adult attire.
Gray or silver-colored black pearls give off an elegant and calm impression, making them ideal for semi-formal occasions.
At entrance ceremonies, the beauty of black pearls will stand out when paired with a bright, spring-like suit or dress. For graduation ceremonies, pairing it with a navy or grey suit will create a chic and elegant look.
You can create a classy style by sticking to simple designs for your necklaces and earrings and keeping accessories such as rings and bracelets to a minimum.
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Comparing funeral etiquette for pearls other than black pearls
Other than black pearls, the most representative pearls are as follows:
- Akoya pearls
- White South Sea Pearl
- Freshwater pearls
At funerals, you are required to dress in a calm and modest manner, while showing respect for the deceased. Pearls are considered a "symbol of tears," and are widely recognized as an appropriate accessory for mourning occasions.
There are many different types of pearls that can be worn at funerals, each with their own appropriate manners and characteristics. We will explain the appropriate use of each type of pearl at funerals.
Akoya pearls
Akoya pearls are one of the most commonly used pearls in Japan. They are characterized by their strong luster and relatively small size, giving them an elegant impression.
At funerals, white or grey Akoya pearls are often chosen, and a single strand necklace is considered the most appropriate style. Necklaces with two or more strands are considered to be a sign of "multiple misfortunes," so it is considered good manners to avoid them.
The white color of Akoya pearls gives a clean and modest impression, so they can be worn by a wide range of women regardless of age, making them an attractive choice. A simple necklace or earrings made of Akoya pearls are appropriate for younger women attending a funeral.
Gray Akoya pearls have a calmness similar to that of black pearls and are sometimes considered more appropriate for funerals.
White South Sea Pearl
White South Sea pearls, along with black South Sea pearls, are known for their large size and luxurious feel. They are often harvested in Australia and Indonesia, and are characterized by their natural white and silvery colors.
For funerals, white South Sea pearls with a subdued luster and a grayish hue are considered appropriate.
However, South Sea pearls tend to be larger than Akoya pearls, and depending on their size they can give off a flashy impression.
For funerals, it is considered good manners to choose a modest size of around 8mm. White South Sea pearls that are too shiny or have a gold-like color are not suitable for funerals, so care should be taken when choosing.
Freshwater pearls
Freshwater pearls are popular as everyday accessories because they are relatively affordable and come in a wide variety. For funerals, it is important to choose freshwater pearls with a modest luster and simple design.
In general, freshwater pearls have a more subdued luster than Akoya pearls or South Sea pearls, and their shapes tend to be quite unique, so you need to choose them carefully for formal occasions.
If you are going to wear freshwater pearls to a funeral, a simple single-strand necklace in white or gray is appropriate. Avoid colorful or highly designed items, and keep in mind that it is important to keep the impression modest and calm.
Freshwater pearls tend to be small, so depending on the size and design of the necklace, it can give off a casual impression, so be careful.
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Two things to be aware of when purchasing black pearls for funerals
There are two things to keep in mind when purchasing black pearls for funerals:
- Clean it on the day you use it
- Keep it safe
Pearls are delicate gemstones and can lose their luster or become scratched if not properly cared for.
Black pearls used at funerals are susceptible to sweat, sebum, and cosmetics, and if left unattended, they can deteriorate. Careful attention is required when caring for and storing the pearls after use.
Here we will explain two important points to keep in mind in order to keep black pearls beautiful for a long time.
Clean it on the day you use it
Black pearls are sensitive to sweat, sebum, and ingredients in cosmetics. Leaving dirt such as sweat and sebum on them can cause the surface to lose its luster.
At funerals, gifts are often worn for long periods of time and are easily affected by tears, moisture, perfume, etc., so it is important to always clean them after use.
The basic method of maintenance is to wipe it gently with a soft cloth. Use a special pearl cloth or a soft cotton cloth to carefully remove surface dirt without rubbing too hard.
Using water or detergent can damage pearls, so it is generally recommended to wipe them dry. If they are very dirty, it is important to wipe them with a lightly damp cloth and then dry them thoroughly.
For necklaces and bracelets, you should also pay attention to the thread. If the thread absorbs sweat or moisture, it may deteriorate and break easily. After use, it is important to check the condition of the thread regularly and have it replaced at a specialist store if necessary.
Keep it safe
Black pearls have a low hardness and are easily scratched, so care must be taken when storing them. If stored together with other jewelry, they may rub against each other and cause scratches on the surface.
When storing black pearls, it is best to store them in a special case and keep them separate from other jewelry.
Pearls are also vulnerable to direct sunlight and dryness, so it is important to avoid places with high temperatures and humidity and store them in an environment where moderate humidity can be maintained. If pearls are kept in extremely dry conditions for a long time, the moisture inside the pearls will be lost, which can cause cracks and a loss of luster.
It is recommended to create a storage environment that maintains a moderate humidity level, such as using a paulownia wood box or a dedicated jewelry box.
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What are black pearls? Introducing their three charms
The appeal of black pearls is threefold:
- Great for parties and other celebrations
- A wide variety of colors and shapes
- Pass it on to loved ones
Black-lipped pearls are rare pearls that are born from black-lipped oysters that live in the warm waters of the South Seas, and are characterized by their mysterious color and deep shine.Black -lipped pearls are also called "Tahitian pearls" and are popular as luxury jewelry.
They can be used not only for formal occasions such as funerals, but also for more glamorous occasions, so just having one will allow you to handle a variety of situations.
Great for parties and other celebrations
Black pearls have a chic color and elegant shine, making them suitable not only for funerals but also for celebratory occasions such as weddings and parties.
Pearls are generally considered an essential piece of jewelry for formal occasions, and black pearls give off a particularly sophisticated impression, making them a suitable item for mature women.
For example, by pairing a black pearl necklace with a black dress or a dress in a subdued color, you can create a simple yet elegant and glamorous style.
There are many jewelry pieces that are combined with gold or platinum, giving a sophisticated impression at casual parties and business settings. The great appeal of black pearls is that they can be worn in any situation.
A wide variety of colors and shapes
One of the attractions of black pearls is that they come in a wide variety of colors and shapes, allowing you to choose one that suits your taste and the occasion.
When you hear the term black pearl, many people may imagine "black pearls," but they are not solid black; they come in a variety of shades, including green and blue.
In addition to the common round (spherical) shape, they also come in a variety of shapes, including drop (teardrop) and baroque (irregular). Baroque pearls are attractive for their unique designs and are popular as jewelry that can be easily worn in casual settings.
Pass it on to loved ones
Black pearls can be passed down to loved ones. They are a type of jewelry that will last a lifetime and are often passed down through generations, from mother to daughter, and grandmother to grandchild.
With proper care, pearls can retain their beauty for decades, and black pearl necklaces and earrings are often chosen as gifts or keepsakes for loved ones.
There is also a culture of mothers passing on black pearl jewelry to their daughters as gifts for important milestones such as weddings and coming-of-age ceremonies. Inherited jewelry is filled with memories and family history, and one of the unique charms of black pearls is that they can be carefully passed down to the next generation.
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Four Frequently Asked Questions About Black Pearls for Funerals
Below are four frequently asked questions regarding black pearls for funerals.
- What color pearls should you wear to a funeral?
- Are pink pearls appropriate for funerals?
- Is it okay to wear a necklace other than pearls to a funeral?
- What is the difference between black and white pearls?
Pearl jewelry is considered appropriate for funerals, but the appropriateness of the pearls varies depending on the color and type. Many people wonder whether black pearls are appropriate for funerals and how they differ from other pearls and jewelry.
Here we will answer some frequently asked questions regarding black pearls for funerals.
What color pearls should you wear to a funeral?
The three pearl colors considered appropriate for funerals are white, gray, and black. White Akoya pearl necklaces are the mainstream, but black pearls such as black lipped pearls can also be worn without any problems.
Black pearls are characterized by their subdued black coloring, so they look natural when paired with mourning attire.
However, it is good manners to avoid overly flashy designs or ones with conspicuous metal parts. When choosing black pearls, choose a simple necklace or modest earrings.
It's okay if the shade of the color is slightly different, and a natural color such as peacock green will give a sophisticated impression while still maintaining good manners.
Are pink pearls appropriate for funerals?
Pink pearls are often considered inappropriate for funerals.
Pink pearls are characterized by their warm color and are often used for celebrations such as weddings and school entrance ceremonies. If you have pinkish-white Akoya pearls, there is no problem as long as the pinkish color is barely noticeable in the light, but it is best to avoid bright pink pearls.
If you are unsure which to choose, choose white or grey pearls. Chic colors like black pearls are also suitable for funerals.
Is it okay to wear a necklace other than pearls to a funeral?
Necklaces other than pearls can also be worn at funerals. Representative examples of necklaces that can be worn at funerals other than pearls are as follows:
- jet
- obsidian
- onyx
- Black Onyx
In Europe , it is considered a suitable gemstone for funerals, and can also be used in Japan. By choosing a round, uncut bead, you can prevent light reflection and maintain a modest impression.
Jet is used as "mourning jewelry" by the British Royal Family and is also favored by the Japanese Imperial Family as mourning jewelry.
Generally, it is best to keep the accessories you wear to a funeral simple, and a pearl necklace is a standard choice.
What is the difference between black and white pearls?
There are clear differences between black pearls and white pearls in terms of color, characteristics, and usage situations. Black pearls generally refer to pearls that are black, gray, or blue-green in color, and typical examples are black-lipped pearls harvested in Tahiti and the Philippines.
Black pearls are characterized by their deep color and unique shine, and they give a sophisticated impression, especially in formal occasions and funerals.
White pearls are pearls with a pure white hue, and Akoya pearls and South Sea pearls are the most common. They have a strong image of purity and elegance, and can be used in a variety of situations, including weddings, funerals, and other ceremonial occasions.
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Summary: Know the etiquette beforehand if you are going to wear black pearls to a funeral
If you are thinking of wearing black pearls to a funeral, it is important to understand the proper etiquette beforehand.
Black pearls are characterized by their deep color and elegant shine, and are considered to be particularly suitable for formal occasions. At funerals, you need to be careful about the accessories you wear.
When choosing a black pearl necklace or earrings, choose one that matches your other accessories and the overall outfit. By observing proper etiquette, you can show respect for the deceased.